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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has always been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful of notable bog-related stories and key events, especially in relation to football. What a delight it was to discover that an online journalist a well-known presenter owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Reflect for a moment for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career at Manchester City, the Italian striker popped into a local college to access the restrooms in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting where the toilets were, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “After that he was just walking through the school like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday marks 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned from the England national team after a brief chat within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden troubled England locker room immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, whispering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Grabbing Keegan, Davies worked frantically to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past took place in the vintage restrooms of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Results

Consequently, Keegan quit, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “without spirit”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly during the last 25 years. For better or worse, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Tuchel's team is considered among the frontrunners for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for women's football cup news concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Daily Football Correspondence

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the schoolyard with youngsters he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his option to move to Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|